Cheese

Hmm, what could go in those holes?

Cheese. Unknown to many, this is infact an extremely versatile food, mainly because of the enormous variety of cheeses available. Invented by someone who gave the credit to the french for some obscene reason, cheese is eaten all over the world. there are hard cheeses, soft cheeses, smelly cheeses, colourful cheeses... you name it theres probably a cheese of it. We shovel it into sandwiches, burgers, onto nachos, crackers, or simply wolf it down by itself. But surely it has so much more purpose than to just be eaten?!?

So lets start looking at some of the uses of cheese:

1) door wedge
See the stereotypical triangular shape of this cheese? Well that makes it perfect for propping a door open to let a cool breeze through. Pick a smelly cheese and it doubles as an automatic air freshener, spreading delicious cheesy smells as the wind blows.

2) paste
Soft cheese is sticky. leave it in the sun a while and it becomes fucking sticky. this immediately makes it a potential candidate for an organic, non solvent glue- perfect for your childs art and crafts project or putting that photo of the in-laws up. This use gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "say cheese!"
3) Paperweight
Cheese is dense. Seriously dense. Dense enough to hold all your files and letters firmly against a desk or table. leave it in the sun for a while and you're guaranteed to keep hold of your work, in a classy, modern fondue-style grip.

Well, thats set the ball rolling, lets see what other useful, productive ways that you all use cheese to the best of its capabilities.